The Drinking Game
by Hyper Kid
Summary: Well, here's my drinnking game! I got really bored writing Shinnychan, soooo, I ficced it. Might have a sequel. See inside for details.


Hey! This is a ficcy I started ages ago, back in the trouble with Shinny-chan. But now it's finished! I mentioned in one of my fics that we had a drinking game, so here it is! Have a look, and tell me what you think!

"Ho, shpum." HK sat in her room trying to think of what to do next. She was getting a bit too random, so time to have a blowout! Answer? Drinking game! Then a poof filled the air with purple glitter and hair spray, and a pillar of sushi formed in front of her. HK just waved at the appearing figures.

"Hewwo!" Vayon just wandered away from his sushi and glared at her.

"What are you doing now? You're taking too long!" The toothpaste fairy nodded from within her smoke. HK giggled.

"Simple! I'm bored, they're bad and I need blackmail!" The toothpaste fairy laughed happily.

"Lets play the drinking game! I'll ref!" Vayon frowned at the two girls.

"1) Are you sure this is a good idea? 2) What do I do?"

"Get the drinks!" Vayon sighed and disappeared in his sushi pillar, returning with more kinds of alcohol than most people know exists.

"Now if you don't mind, I'm getting out of the way before it all goes to hell." He vanished in a puff of sushi. The toothpaste fairy looked at HK.

"I didn't know you could have a puff of sushi."

"Nih! Lets get the guests!" There was a loud kafoofle and a splat. As the smoke cleared, several people were visible. Shinrei, Hotaru, Akira, Yukimura, Sasuke, Saizo, Yuya, Tora, Demon Eyes Kyo and Sakuya were there, in a rather large heap. HK bounced over.

"Hiya! We're gonna play a drinking game!" Kyo struggled to his feet.

"Who says, girl?"

"Isn't it obvious? I did! Now get up you lot!" When they were all on their feet, she looked around her room.

"Huh. No space, and I don't wanna have to clean up after it…we're moving people!" The toothpaste fairy obligingly waved her magic leaf and opened a portal to a different room, filled with random furniture. Everyone was then pushed through, and the drinks were grabbed before the hole closed, leaving the first room empty.

"Okay, the game doesn't have a name, but it goes like this. Everyone chooses a drink, and someone stands up and says something they never did. Everyone who has done that thing must take one drink for every time they have done that thing. Any attempt to cheat will be…punished. Any questions?" Without leaving time for an answer, she grinned and clapped her hands. "Then let's play! Pick your poisons!"

Eventually everyone had decided on a drink and found a random piece of furniture to sit/lie/lounge/whatever on. HK stood up from where she had been sat on a large double bed next to Sasuke and Yukimura, with Saizo on the floor near Yuki, and smiled.

"I'm starting! I have a sure-fire drinker…but not yet! I haven't ever slept with anyone."

In the forest of glares she smirked. "Hello, only 13! Now drink up!" Everyone except Sakuya, Sasuke, Yuya and Shinrei drank. However, after everyone else was finished, Yukimura and Kyo were still drinking, Yukimura muttering under his breath.

"And there was her…her twice….him…oh yes, and her…" Everyone decided they officially didn't want to know. Half an hour of steady drinking later Yukimura smiled.

"I'm done!"

"Great!" HK giggled. "Your turn next Sasu-kun!" Sasuke got to his feet and smirked at Saizo.

"I never called anyone –sama." Saizo glared at him and began chugging his drink. He almost stopped when he noticed only Shinrei was also drinking, as fast as him, but decided he didn't want to know HK's punishment. When he finally stopped, he was almost drunk beyond reason, but still sober enough to glare at Sasuke. He stumbled to his feet.

"I've.. hic! nevuh…uh…nevuh said anything bad near Yukimura-sama!" Sasuke glared at him and started gulping his chocolate liqueur. Almost everyone else was drinking too, not the effect the sloshed Saizo had hoped for. The only one not drinking was Sakuya. No surprises there.

"My turn!" Yukimura giggled as he got to his feet, almost stepping on Saizo. "I have never…I know! Wait I did that…and that too. Is there anything I never did? Well..Maybe that…Yeah! Okay, I've never watched Yuya-chan bathing." Tora immediately death glared him. Yuya blushed and Kyo frowned, which Yuya didn't quite see. Tora began chugging, then looked at HK.

"Is there anyway I can do this faster than tryin' ta count?" HK smiled up at the Toothpaste fairy, who was hovering near the ceiling.

"Is there?" The Toothpaste fairy looked at Tora then said,

"Just drink the entire glass of tequila." Tora smiled, then looked at the container next to him, sweatdropping to find it bigger than his head. As he began drinking, Kyo was trying to drink sneakily, without Yuya seeing. Unfortunately, she noticed the movement almost immediately, and smiled at him.

"So you have to drink for Kyoshiro too, huh?" Kyo glared and mumbled,

"Dammit, I need to drink for him too?!" At which Yuya glared at him, and promptly slapped him in the face. HK grinned and handed her the Mallet of DOOM. Yuya took it, smiled at her, and in one hit pounded Kyo into the ground. Then she calmly handed it back. HK giggled, popping the mallet back into Sasuke's kendama space.

"Who's next? No volunteers? Okay, Tora! You're up!" Tora stood and scowled at Yukimura, wanting revenge.

"I never did anything intimate with a member of the same sex." He smirked triumphantly. After Yukimura's muttering after the first "I've Never", he was sure there would be results. No one was really surprised when Saizo drank along with Yukimura, or even when Kyo drank a little. The one that really surprised everyone was Akira. Yuya and HK both stared at him, surprised, causing to blush slightly as he drank 1, 2, 3 full glasses of white wine. Immediately, everyone, especially Tora and HK wanted an explanation, in detail. Well, not that kind of detail. HK broke the silence.

"EEEEEEE! Tell me when, who, where and why! Now! Please, tellmetellmetellme!" Akira turned his head away and pouted. Since it was obvious he wasn't saying anything, Hotaru stood up and said, rather pointedly at Akira,

"I've never been a koibito." Akira immediately turned bright red, jumped to his feet and screamed at Hotaru,

"You shit! You said you would never tell anyone! You promised when I told you! I can't believe I trusted you!" His hands flew to where his katanas would be if HK hadn't stolen them for souvenirs as he entered the room. HK herself burst out laughing very loudly, having put two and two together and coming up with a hilarious four. Everyone, even Akira turned to her, to find what was so funny. She tried to calm down enough to speak. Vaguely unsuccessfully.

"I, hee, I knew, hahaha, I knew there was a reason Kyo let you join the Four!" After saying this, she fell back into another burst of helpless giggles. It took a little while for them to make the connection, but the looks on their faces was more than worth it. Kyo didn't look the least bit embarrassed, Akira blushed so hard he was almost purple, Yukimura was looking at him thoughtfully, Sasuke looked disgusted at both Saizo and Akira, and Yuya looked uncomfortable. Hotaru was smirking slightly, Saizo wasn't looking at anyone, Tora was looking amused but sickened, Sakuya didn't seem to be listening and Shinrei was managing to look disgusted and sympathetic at the same time. Shinrei walked over to where Akira was practically glowing and put an arm around him.

"Keikoku is really annoying like that sometimes. Just never tell him anything again. It's the only way he won't tell your secrets." Akira snorted and turned away. Then he turned back when HK poked him and said it was his turn. Akira glared violent death at Hotaru.

"I've never played with fire!" HK put on a deliberately blank face and pointed at Shinrei. Yukimura soon got the point and giggled.

"Don't think so, HK-chan!" HK grinned evilly.

"How can you be sure?" Then the Toothpaste Fairy poked her.

"You gonna get started?"

"Oh yeah…" HK joined Hotaru in a spree of drinking. 4 glasses of mint liqueur later, she stopped, and handed Hotaru another large bottle of Firewhisky, stolen from Harry Potter. Eventually, Hotaru stopped his drinking. He was now officially sloshed. This was met with general amusement. Then it was Shinrei's turn.

"I have never agreed with Keikoku!" Akira took one tiny sip, and was poked by the Toothpaste Fairy until he took another few gulps. Bon took some drinks too, and HK cheerfully chugged. Yuya glared at Kyo.

"I have never stared at a girl's breasts!" All the guys blinked, looked at each other, and began to drink, excluding Shinrei, who called them all filthy perverts until Kyo said it was just because he never got any, Akira, who was blind, and Sasuke, who still thought girls had cooties. Kyo blinked for a second before standing, his Canadian beer starting to get to him.

"I never did anything for the Crimson King." Shinrei glared at him, and began gulping down his sherry. Hotaru blinked and took three gulps of Fire whisky. Yukimura happily gulped down a jar of sake. Sakuya smiled innocently.

"I never hit on Akira." Kyo glared at her.

"Damn you, woman!" He glared as he drank his Canadian beer. Hotaru blinked, and took a gulp of Fire whisky. The Toothpaste Fairy prodded Yuya, who protested she never had, but quickly drank when the Fairy waved her leaf threateningly. HK considered for a moment, and didn't drink.

"I never killed any one." That got her in general glares, and all the guys and Yuya began to drink. HK smiled evilly.

"Told ya I had a good one!" Then she frowned at Sakuya, who was not getting drunk. She bent over and whispered to Sasuke, who was drunk. He nodded, gulped the last of his liquor, and stood.

"I never…..hic!…never saw th' future." Sakuya frowned, and drank. And drank. And drank. She soon was totally sloshed, like 90 of the people in the room. HK now decided to switch to a new tactic, since everyone was drunk. Twister! Not even the almost-stoned Kyo protested, instead declaring it a tournament. So a Twister board was soon found, and placed. The first 4 contestants were Yukimura, Saizo, Sasuke, and Sakuya. After them, it would be Shinrei, Hotaru, Akira and Kyo. The two winners from that would go against the two winners from the other group, and those two winners would go against HK and Yuya, Tora being too drunk to play. So the game begun, and soon, predictably enough, Yukimura managed to collapse on top of Sasuke, crushing him into the ground, and out of the game. Here's the story of how the fuck that happened. Approximately 5 minutes into the game, Yukimura was stretched across the entire board, along with everyone else, with Sasuke stretched out lithely under his master's body, while Saizo was stretched over top of Yukimura, uncomfortably close. Some how, Sakuya had managed to be on the other side of the board from all of this. Saizo made a complaint that 'Yukimura-sama's body was pushing up too high, and was rubbing uncomfortably against him'. Sasuke, typically, made a snide comment along the lines of 'I would have thought you would like that, tight-ass.' To which Saizo replied, stupidly enough, 'Yukimura-sama's ass is tighter', causing both HK and Yukimura, who were close enough to sober, to burst out laughing, causing Yukimura to collapse onto Sasuke. The very drunk Saizo and Sakuya were declared the winners, while an extremely drunk Sasuke wiggled under Yukimura. Three guesses what would have happened next, but for the fact that HK insisted upon rescuing the kawaii chibi ninja. He might thank her later, but probably not, because she immediately glomped him, because she was kinda drunk. Yukimura cheerfully joined the group hug, and crushed the two younger children. During this, the next group started their contest. Kyo was drunkenly trying to cheat, by pushing an equally drunk Hotaru, who pushed against Shinrei, who pushed back, knocking Hotaru into Kyo on top of Akira. Shinny and 'Taru had won, don't ask me how after only 2 spins on the board. The next game ended quickly though, as Hotaru became too drunk to think as straight as he usually did, and collapsed onto Saizo. The drunk Shinny laughed at him, and Sakuya followed politely onto the next game. Kyo still hadn't moved off Akira, but Akira didn't seem to mind. The power of large amounts of drink. Then Shinrei and Sakuya got ready to play Yuya and HK, both of whom were less drunk than them. Mostly because HK had convinced Sakuya to try intravenous drinking. But anyway, the game started, and, soon enough, everyone was stretched across the board, with HK reaching under Shinrei, and Yuya trying to reach over him, whilst Sakuya managed to once again be on the other side of the board. Then the drunken Shinrei collapsed on top of HK, who just barely managed to stay up. Yuya grinned, sure she would win now that the other sober competitor was being smooshed by someone a lot older than her. However, since HK wanted to win, she braced herself against the board and kicked out with one foot, catching Yuya's ankle and knocking her over. Unfortunately, she fell onto Shinrei, and HK was smooshed to the ground. So Sakuya won the Twister tournament. However, since HK still needed blackmail material, and everyone was too drunk to keep playing, she got Vayon to drag some arcade games and other such stuff in, then gave him a video camera. Shinrei and Taru found a karaoke machine, and decided to have a singing contest. Both were still utterly sloshed, and sung quite probably the most embarrassing songs possible. Shinrei sung Standing In The Rain, by Billy Talent, for one. That should tell you just how bad this was. Then both of them ended up singing Spice Girls. Hotaru was declared the winner, and it was generally agreed that Shinrei couldn't sing for toffee. Shinrei himself drunkenly declared that he didn't even like toffee, and preferred caramel. Hotaru decided that he liked toffee on principal, and they spent the rest of the party fighting. Sasuke challenged Saizo to a round on the dance mats, in an almost Rock Lee way. So they started dancing to everything they could find. Including Yukimura's drunken whistling. Unfortunately, Yukimura himself wasn't doing anything suitable for blackmailing. It would have to be absolutely evil for Yukimura to say no to doing anything, but meh. So HK decided it might be fun to get the boys to dress up! Emphasis on dress. As usual, she was going to have to team up with Yukimura for this, but what the hell. Fun's fun. So she and Yukimura first kidnapped Kyo. He didn't seem to mind too much, but he did when they tied him to a chair. He couldn't reach Akira. But then HK got the Toothpaste Fairy to magically put Kyo in a big frilly dress. Then Yukimura styled his new long hair into a typical fairy-princess look. And posed for a picture. Kyo-blackmail sufficiently got, Kyo was released back into the wild. Then it was Akira's turn. However, when HK and Yukimura caught him, he was cuddled up and sucking his thumb like a little kid, and they didn't have the heart to wake him, because he looked cute. So HK just took a picture on her digital camera, and moved on. A tape of Shinrei singing counted as his blackmail material, so Hotaru was the next victim on the list. Quickly, HK and Yukimura found a cat suit, and put… Shinrei in it! Hotaru immediately glomped him, and began petting the 'big kitty'. This time the video function of HK's digital camera was used. And the video continued to wind, catching the hilarity of Sasuke break dancing, and Saizo trying to tango without a partner. Sakuya and Yuya were nowhere to be found, but Tora was collapsed over Kyo's sleeping form, mumbling about hot chicks. It didn't take long to make Kyo back to normal, and another picture finished the available blackmail gathering. So all concerned were dumped in the middle of Konoha to wake up.

Well? Want to hear about the adventures in Naruto? Say please. It's not unfunny.


End file.
